Hadley was due on Wednesday, November 16th. When her due date came and went with no baby I started to become a little discouraged. I had to keep reminding myself of God's perfect timing, but I was also a little stressed with not knowing when his perfect timing would be. I was wanting to have a natural delivery, epidural free, and because of that I was not wanting to be induced. The further that you get from the due date the closer you get to being induced. I hung in there, though, when Thursday came and went. The week of her due date I walked most nights at least a mile and a half. On two nights I even walked 3 miles trying to get her to come out! But Thursday came and went and still no baby. I went to work on Friday crossing my fingers that today would be the day, but having a feeling that I would have no such luck. At work everyone would look at me with sad faces and say, "I'm so sorry you're still here!" They even started a poll to guess when Hadley would arrive. I hated when people would say, "When is your due date?" and I would have to answer, "Last Wednesday."
I went home on Friday with a sudden hope that she would come soon. I called Shane on the way home and told him that I thought she would come soon.
As soon as I got home I went to the restroom and realized I was having my bloody show. I called Shane in and we had a moment of, "Oh my gosh, this is really happening!" then we called the doctor. The nurse told us to go on into Labor and Delivery Triage. We finished packing our bags and did some last minute things around the house before taking off. On the ride to the hospital I looked at Shane and said, "What if this is the last time we leave the house without a baby?"
When we got to Triage they put us in a room and hooked me up to the monitors to monitor Hadley's heartbeat, movements, and my contractions. The contractions that I was having felt a lot like Braxton Hicks but they had a slight crampy feeling with them. The nurse said they were fairly strong when she felt my belly.
The nurses were watching my monitor and they were a little concerned with Hadley's heartbeat. It was in the 180s which is really high. Hadley's heartbeat is usually around 140-150. Our nurse told us that they were all puzzled by why her heartbeat was so strong and she even told me at one point that if it doesn't go back to normal that a c-section might be in our near future. These are scary words to hear. As a last ditch effort to try and solve the problem the nurse told me to lay on my side. Within 10 minutes of switching to my side her heart rate went back down to normal. My contractions hurt even more on my side, but her heart rate stayed normal so I sucked it up. They continued to monitor us for another couple hours while I labored to make sure her heart rate stayed normal, then they decided to go ahead and admit us into the hospital. I remember the nurse coming in and saying, "Well, how'd you like to have a baby tonight? The doctor would like to keep you here and admit you to the hospital." At those words I felt excited and nervous all at the same time. But, I was ready. We called our families and told them to head our way. I was only dilated to a 2 so they had plenty of time to get to the hospital.
Can I just add here, contractions are no joke. They are serious stuff and they hurt. By the time I was dilated to a 3 I knew I needed the help of our doula Mindie. Shane called her and she got there within the hour. Our families showed up around 9 or 10 and from there we were off. I was in full blown labor. I walked the halls, sat on the birthing ball, got in the bath tub and layed down in bed to work through my contractions. I tried to make low deep sounds and tried my best to focus through them. Shane was such a big help. He was by my side the entire night. He would rub on my back, hold me up when I was walking and became hit by a contraction and he would encourage me. I remember him telling me thank you throughout the night. He would tell me 'thank you so much for having our baby' and it was so nice for me to hear.
Mindie was also a big encouragement to me. She would tell me 'good job' and 'this is exactly what needs to happen to get Hadley here.' She would give me hints on ways to open up my pelvis so that Hadley could drop. She had me doing a duck walk down the hallway and squats on the hallway bars.
Shane's favorite part to tease me about is the things that I would say during a contraction. I started out the night by saying, "Shane... sweetie.... Shane... sweetie..." and ended up saying, "Y'all! Y'all! Seriously! Y'all!" Shane just loves to imitate my 'yalls'.
I remember wanting to get 'checked' often during labor. I wanted to know how much progress I was making. There were 3 different times over a 7 hour period that the nurse checked me and I was still at a 6. This was the most frustrating thing to hear. I had a minor melt down around the third time they told me I was still a 6.
We had the best nurse. I remember that I was having a little trouble getting through contractions at one point in the night (and frustrated that I was stalled out at a 6) and she got down on my eye level and told me how awesome I was doing and that I could finish this. I truly appreciated her encouraging words.
At around 8 o'clock on Saturday morning I had officially been in labor for 16 hours. The contractions were more then powerful and I was feeling like I wanted to give into the drugs. (Looking back I'm pretty sure I was in transition at this point.) I started begging Shane to give me drugs. "Shane, help me!"
My poor husband must have felt awful! He knew what I wanted as we had had many discussions on having a natural labor and even attended a Bradley class together. He kept trying to encourage me and told me that I was doing great.
When I saw that I wasn't getting through to him I started to beg Mindie. "Please, Mindie, I need help! Help me!" But just like Shane, she knew my desire to have a natural birth and so she encouraged me to finish this.
(This is another one of Shane's favorite parts...) When I saw that those two were not going to budge I began to beg our nurse. "Please nurse! I need something! Please help me!" Shane loves to imitate me reaching out to the nurse and pleading for mercy! Laugh it up buddy. : )
I think that the nurse told the doctor that I was wanting meds because he came in and asked everyone to leave except Shane. He proceeded to tell me my options. I could get the epidural, I could get a drug in my IV to take the edge off called Fentynal, or I could stay the course. I chose the middle road and got the drug to take the edge off.
The drug is a lie. It didn't take the edge off at all. My contractions still hurt just as bad as they did before. The only thing that the drug helped me do was to sleep in between contractions. Which that was probably a good thing seeing as the pushing stage was right around the corner and my energy level was extremely low.
At around 9:45 the nurse came back in and I asked her to check me. She did and and after a second of feeling around announced that she couldn't find a cervix anymore. I had never heard it put like that so I was a little confused. I heard my birth team cheer a little and suddenly it dawned on me. I sat up in bed, looked around and asked, "I'm a ten?!"
Everyone laughed and told me YES!
Then the doctor came in along with several nurses and set up the room for Hadley's appearance.
The pushing is a little bit of a blur. The nurse said Hadley was very pubic so I probably wouldn't have to push long. I remember looking at Shane and he was crying. He made mention of it by saying, "I can't stop crying." I started pushing at 10 and she was here by 10:30. I was so glad it was only 30 minutes of pushing because pushing was more painful to me then the actual contractions. From the very beginning I experienced the 'ring of fire' from her head being so close. I remember bearing down for 2-3 pushes in a row then letting up and screaming. I couldn't help it! I didn't know how else to release my tension. In the midst of pushing the nurse asked if I wanted a mirror and I said I did. I was able to see Hadley's head as she began to make her appearance and I even saw her come out completely. What a cool, out of body experience to see your child born. They did ask me also if I wanted to touch her head as it started to make its appearance, but I said no. At the time I didn't want to take the time; I just wanted her out and the pain to go away! In between pushing I remember telling Shane, "I'm ready for her to be out!" The nurse chuckled a little at my comment, but I was very serious at the time!
During pushing I remember Shane kissing my forehead and telling me good job and thank you. I remember Mindie coaching me by reminding me to relax my face and make low deep sounds.
Finally the doctor said, "This time I'm going to tell you to stop pushing in the middle of a contraction and I want you to try your best to stop."
sure... right on that.
I began pushing and suddenly he said, "Okay stop!"
I just remember screaming back and forth with him-
"I can't!"
"Yes you can!"
"No I can't!"
I remember Erin saying, "Sarah, there's her head!"
Then Hadley slid out and I heard her beautiful cry!
Our birth team cheered!
They placed her in my hands and I was so in awe!
I heard the doctor tell Shane that the cord had stopped pulsing so he could cut it now. I wanted to watch him cut it, but I couldn't take my eyes off of my beautiful child.
After the cord was cut she was whisked away and I was left with the doctor to attend to my repairs. I was in such a daze. The placenta was delivered fairly quickly and I remember feeling such a relief when it was delivered.
The doctor came up to me at this time, put my face in his hands and got down on my level. I'll never forget what he said. "You did good!"
Again, it's a little blur here. I could hear Hadley, I could hear the excitement of the birth team and I could feel the stitches that the doctor was putting in me. I would watch Mindie's face as he stitched me up so that I could try and read how bad it was. Apparently there are 3 levels of tearing and I was a level 2. Could have been worse. Suppose I should have tried harder to stop pushing when the doctor told me to.
Finally they brought my baby back to me and I was in heaven. "So you're the person that's been growing inside my belly for the past 9 months? You're absolutely beautiful!"
Everyone took their turns holding her. It was such a whirlwind. Then my dad and Shane's parents came in to see her, quickly followed by Tim, Aubrey and Eli. Aubrey was so excited! She couldn't wait to meet baby Hadley!
When my dad came in he came over to me and told me how proud he was of me.
As a 'push prize' Shane got me a James Avery ring with the November birth stone in the middle. I absolutely love it and I love what it represents!
Even though it was the toughest thing I have ever done in my life, I wouldn't trade how our labor and delivery went for anything in the world. It was such a wonderful experience even in the midst of the pain. My husband and birth team were such amazing supports and our beautiful daughter came into the world alert, healthy and epidural free! : )
We love you Hadley more then you'll ever know!
This last picture was on Nov. 20th (1 day old) in our hospital room. Love my little girl!
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